What is this?
You know how it feels when you are chatting with a friend but they are not really listening? We all do it sometimes!
Babies find it hard to tune into us unless we are fully “there”. We don’t need to concentrate on them all the time, in fact they need quiet time too. But when we are playing or chatting, babies do best if we are as present as we can be. So it means turning off background sounds if we can (even the TV!), putting down a phone, or even putting it on silent for 5 minutes – and just being together!
Why does it matter?
Being present with a baby often feels really good! We are the most interesting and important thing in the world for them, and they love it when we are fully with them.
For the baby, it means there are fewer distractions so it is easier for them to focus and to learn. And when they have our full attention, they use this to feel connected to us and that helps them feel safe and secure. And the play and chat becomes much more fun.
What does it look like?
- Even for a few minutes, stop everything else and focus face-to-face on baby
- Be there, play and chat, or just give them space and be together
- When you are busy with other things, let them hear your voice and tell them what you are doing!
- Make sure you have time and rest for yourself too
It is usually simple things like:
| baby … | so we … |
|---|---|
| Ready to chat | Chat with them, give them time to respond back and so on |
| Ready to play | Do anything they seem interested in. Chat about what you are doing |
| Watching from a distance | Talk about what you are doing. It might just be the boring washing, but baby will be fascinated and love to hear you |
| Ready to chill | Notice the cues they have had enough, and let them have quiet time |
Show me some examples
Simple ways to chill out together
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